Are blogs a surrogate journal? In my opinion, they are. Unfortunately, everything posted for the public's view is open for judgement, analyzation, criticism, and can and will be held against you if at any time in your future you decide against the masses. This means no complaining, no telling things how they really are, nothing- other than supported or non-supported opinions with or without validation. The thoughts here could change the world. Or they could devastate you as a person. Needing an outlet? Oh, don't attempt a blog. It will be used against you. Find a friend. No friends? Sorry, you're out of luck. You are only anonymous until you're found out. If I had reassurance that my posts would remain anonymous and that not even the media would find access to my information, oh, the stories I could tell.
For now, let's start with this: 4 Roommate manners: How polite are you? Do your habits make you a desired person to live with? or do you have some issues to improve on?
#1. Leaving your dirty dishes in the sink when we have a dishwasher and it's not quite full of dirty dishes yet.
OK. Its one thing to leave a few dishes from a meal in the sink for a few hours if you're in a hurry or some emergency comes up, etc. But it is not acceptable to leave them sitting in the sink for days on end while you come in and out and pile more dishes in the sink until all the clean dishes are dirty, in the sink, and taking up space. It's also inappropriate to leave large baking or cooking dishes in the sink- especially for extended periods of time- when the dishes take up all space in the sink and no one else can use the sink. Come on people! Worse than that, not scrubbing the food off your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Do you not realize that dishwashers don't clean off dried, crusted on food? Gross. Take responsibility for yourself and do your own dishes for heavens sake! For respect of those around you and for respect of yourself, don't be so lazy! No one likes living in the same dwelling as people who don't clean up after themselves. I know everyone gets busy and tired and whatever else. but doing your own dishes after each meal takes 30 seconds to 1 minute. Leaving them there over 24 hours is wrong. You can't tell me you didn't have one minute to rinse or scrub your dishes and throw them in the dishwasher. Seriously, one minute within a 24 hour time period. How much time are you wasting on meaningless activities that make you lazier?
#2. Take your turn taking out the trash, vaccuuming, and other chores in communal areas. (and buying the necessary cleaning products.)
Again, out of respect, don't wait until it is clear that no one else will take it out, or clean. If it needs to be cleaned, do something about it! You are so guilty if you notice it and do nothing. Off with your head!
#3. Laundry manners.
Don't wait for your roommate to mention that she is going to do her laundry before you put your own load in. If no one's using it, or previously called it, its free game for anyone living in the residence. If you know your roommate was planning on using it, don't be rude. It's not polite to race them. Are we not all adults here? Can we not discuss these things and come to a compromise? And if your roommate has their clothes or things in the dryer (or any of their belongings anywhere else for that matter) ask before touching or doing anything with them!!! Common sense! Especially if the clothes are not dry yet. If they are still wet, don't freakin take them out of the dryer! Ask permission. And don't move someone's clothes into the dryer and start it for them thinking you are doing them a favor. You may not be. You may end up shrinking a favorite article of clothing or ruining a fabric that will end up stained, etc because of your carelessness and lack of knowledge how they care for their clothes.
#4. Maintenance.
Some of us are accident prone, or careless, or just break things a lot. Are you one of THOSE people who leave a trail of disaster for others to take care of? You break things and never say anything about it because you don't want to take the blame even though the blame is yours? Shame on you. You should move back home where your parents can take care of you. Clearly, you aren't ready to leave the nest. Develop some maturity and responsibility. Take matters into your own hands. You plug the toilet, you fix it, or you call the maintenance. Don't leave it for your roommate to find. Gross. It's not their responsibility. The light bulbs burn out when your hand flips the switch? You go out and buy new light bulbs and put them in! If it needs fixing, fix it! Don't wait for the other roommate to fix it. They may never notice. You spill something on the stove? You clean it up! Don't make your roommates atone for your mistakes. You might come home to a nasty burnt smell filling your house because your roommate didn't know that you spilled something on the burner. They went to use it, and now the household suffers because you didn't clean up after yourself. Don't be such a jerk. If you take care of the mess or breakage when it happens, it takes less time to resolve than if you wait until the next day.
And pahlease don't just keep thanking me for doing all your cleaning, etc, and apologize for never cleaning up after yourself, and then just keep letting it happen. If you are truly sorry, you won't let it keep happening. You'll do something about it. Everytime you thank me, I don't believe you. You lose all my trust and I come to the understanding that you are using me and I don't appreciate your behavior. I will eventually get upset, break down, begin to strongly dislike you, and I will stop cleaning. Then we will all live in your filth and tension grows until you decide to take responsibility for yourself. Look, you don't live with momma anymore. She's not going to do everything for you. You make your own decisions now. Take responsibility for yourself! When roommates sign a contract, they aren't signing thinking they are committing to clean up after or babysit each other. When I signed my contract to live there, I wasn't signing to be your live-in momma. Do yourself and your roommates a favor and develop some self-discipline and self- control. PS. There is no app that cleans up after a person. You have to do it YOURSELF. There's a thought. Try that on for size.
Confrontation vs conflict. It's a choice.
I hear from people so much that they don't want to talk to a roommate about a problem because they don't like confrontation. Its a lie. Look here, confrontation is not a bad thing. Some people attach negative connotations or have negative associations in with the word, but it isn't a bad thing. Conflict, on the other hand, always yields negative results. What we don't like, is the conflict and negativity that results from a concern offending the other person. It's completely a choice in how you approach the problem. If you go straight to the person you have a problem with, take them aside one on one respectfully, present your concern with love and charity in your heart for the other person and not just yourself or selfish reasons, confrontation is likely to have a positive outcome. If you angrily present your concern to them telling them they are wrong, of course you will be received in an enemy light, communication tends to shut down, and you will get that dreaded confliction of interests. Are we not mature enough to present ourselves in ways that we can avoid offending others? Or do your actions and words consider no one but yourself? If you are trying to live like an adult, become an adult. Mature adults can talk about, discuss, and resolve problems. They have no need to hide things, be dishonest, cheat, steal or any other manner of dishonesty.
I am a tolerant person (no OCD whatsoever), but taking advantage of people is not right. and these are very simple concepts! they are all common sense and in no way inferior. These are a few guidelines for living in harmony. I strongly suggest holding monthly house meetings to discuss the issues so they get resolved before someone has a breakdown and goes a-wall.
People who don't abide by these principles will find themselves struggling to get along with their roommates. Be polite and considerate! It really doesn't take that much effort! Its a choice to be someone who is easy to live with. If you are one of the people who doesn't care, please check yourself into a hobo colony. No one wants to live with you except maybe others of your kind... who, I should warn you, will annoy you worse than you can imagine.
